queerJAP

what summer looks like: an open road

2011-06-28T14:27:00.000-07:00

This is Colorado, near my Dad's house. Love.

puppy, as promised

2011-06-28T13:49:00.000-07:00

long time, no blog

2011-06-28T13:42:00.000-07:00

So my apologies for an unduly long hiatus. After the wedding and related travels, I moved right into academic mode: taught six classes, got a new job (more on that later), and wrote a book proposal. The blog, among other things (like my family), fell by the wayside. But now that I have a long, lazy summer ahead, I thought I'd make contact again.

Basics:

Married life is great. JB and I continue to be best friends and feel very lucky to have found each other.

We adopted a puppy. Photo TK.

We are planning a trip to France for next spring.

My new job is in Boston, so we will be doing a kind "commuter marriage" thing next year. (I hate that term, but I also don't want to use the phrase "long-distance" 'cause it's really not that long of a distance. Although it is long enough to hurt...) We are committed to doing this separation-thing for two semesters, and then something'll have to give.

More soon. For real.

my new favorite blog is...

2010-05-21T13:42:00.000-07:00

even cleveland

all i can say is "wow." this blog really pushes the genre of the blog to a new level. it is impressive in its capaciousness and its consistently cool and profound assemblages-- musical, literary, visual. check it out.

xo,

summer reading

2010-05-19T07:21:00.000-07:00

image via rowanboat

As an English professor, I spend most of my time rereading books from the 19th century, and when I do make time for contemporary fiction, I have very high expectations. I want my pleasure reading to be absolutely beautiful and riveting and soul-changing. That said, I am starting to amass a little pile of books to bring on the honeymoon and perhaps to get me through August.

First and foremost, I am excited about Elif Batuman's new book, The Possessed. I peaked at it a few nights ago, and the prose was so refreshing and so smart that it almost gave me chills.

I'm also looking forward to finally reading Netherland by Joseph O'Neill. It received so much positive press when it first appeared-- even Obama was a fan!

What would you recommend I add to this burgeoning stack?

JB's latest culinary feat

2010-05-18T15:58:00.001-07:00

lazy days

2010-05-18T15:45:00.000-07:00

School is out, and the grading is turned in, and my days are spent in a tremendously indulgent way. I linger over the morning paper, stroll about town with a coffee, pleasure read, blogsurf, and talk on the phone. Sometimes I think about preparing for next semester or working on my book project. Sometimes I make little plans for the wedding, but mostly, it is a carefree, romantic time. JB has been cooking extravagant new meals (see above) and buying me flowers (see above). Our long engagement has turned out to be the sweetest period of our relationship to date.

Speaking of the wedding (aren't I always?!): why do our dear friends fail to send in their reply cards? I know that they are attending our wedding, so why is it so difficult to send in the pre-addressed, pre-stamped card? As a devoutly Type-A personality, I sincerely don't understand their delinquent behavior. The fact is, I do know they are coming, so I *could* lighten up, but those cards matter for seating arrangements. Right?

Enough about that. I have to get ready to watch Glee.

xo,

shoes!

2010-05-04T10:41:00.000-07:00

Which ones do you like? I am thinking a low heel and an open toe :)

less than 2 months

2010-04-22T07:18:00.000-07:00

Hello! So our wedding is now a mere 7ish weeks away, and I am suddenly aware of several tasks that still stand uncrossed-off on my list. For one thing, a videographer. JB and I have been up in the air about this for awhile-- hence, the persistence of this item on our list. But recently, I have become convinced that I must have a super8 video. I dislike the sound of my voice on tape, as does JB, but the super8 videos are soundless. The super 8 films are beautiful-- the medium itself is fraught with emotion, fragility, and nostalgia. JB agrees. Now the problem is to find someone to do this for us with such short notice. Fingers crossed.

In other news, engagement/wedding presents have begun to pour in. I have posted a photo of the gorgeous cake stand we received (and the coconut /pear/spice cake it inspired!). I can proudly say that I am all caught up on thank you notes!

too true

2010-03-24T19:03:00.000-07:00

via a life more fabulous

spring break and other excursions...

2010-03-24T18:49:00.000-07:00

So we have been on a series of mini-adventures since my last post. First, JB and I ran away to Williamstown, Massachusetts to visit the Mass Moca, a modern art museum located inside of a restored mill. It is vast and airy and full of art that truly seems modern and often experimental. There was an entire room filled with Sol LeWitt's work (see above). After roaming around the museum for awhile, we had a delicious meal at Mezze, a gourmet neighborhood bistro, and then headed home while listening to classic country, feeling sated in every way. A few days later, we left for Miami, where we basked in the sun and ate sushi and went for long strolls and looked at art deco hotels. Now, back to the grindstone... and the blogging :)

my 30th

2010-02-25T20:37:00.000-08:00

via in the wabe

so, dear readers, i turned 30 today. the end of an era, the beginning of an era, a milestone, a moment. i am not sure what to make of it, but i did have a lovely day (got a pedicure, watched Bravo) and a delicious meal with good friends (red wine, bolognese).

“what can you do if you are thirty and, turning the corner of your own street, you are overcome, suddenly, by a feeling of bliss— absolute bliss!-- as though you’d suddenly swallowed a bright piece of that late afternoon sun and it burned in your bosom, sending out a little shower of sparks into every particle, into every finger and toe?” -katherine mansfield

registering...

2010-02-19T17:51:00.000-08:00

via domino magazine images

JB and I are a little bit in love with this classic "laque du chine" china made by Haviland. The only question is what color OR colors!

JB's wedding shoes

2010-02-18T14:01:00.001-08:00

So before I give you the details about my recently purchased (!) dress, I thought I would offer a few tidbits about JB's wedding ensemble. As I have mentioned previously, she is planning to wear a navy suit, white (perhaps tuxedo-style) shirt, silver anchor cufflinks, and brown shoes. We went to the Church's (top-quality British shoemaker) shop on Madison this past Saturday, and she tried on some brogues. Which shade of brown do you prefer?

new favorite flower

2010-02-17T18:01:00.000-08:00

Apologies for my absence! First, there was a whirlwind trip to NYC to purchase THE dress. We also had a lovely V-Day dinner at the Grammercy Tavern-- delicious. But, upon our return, JB got really sick with a stomach bug.

But I am back now, and I will be sure to update you all on the dress this week.

I've also decided that I *love* ranunculus. A complicated name for a complicated flower- part rose, part posey. Perfect for my bouquet-- in hot pink :)

sundays are the best

2010-02-07T07:24:00.000-08:00

via my mouthful

JB made me a delicious breakfast burrito; we devoured the Times, and now we are wedding planning before we need to get down to business and grade some papers and prepare for the week. I heart Sundays.

summer, ahhhh.

2010-02-05T15:46:00.000-08:00

via fieldguided

"Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I’m not living." --Jonathan Safran Foer

another dress is in the running!

2010-02-02T07:47:00.001-08:00

What do you think of this number from Lela Rose? I like how modern and playful the lace looks.

bookcases seem to be all over the blogosphere

2010-02-01T17:14:00.000-08:00

The first image is via youaremyfave and the second one is our home!

"With freedom, books, flowers, and the moon, who could not be happy?" -Oscar Wilde

In Memoriam: J.D. Salinger

2010-01-28T11:36:00.000-08:00

J.D. Salinger died today at the age of 91. This feels significant because I am an admirer of his work, especially Franny and Zooey and The Catcher in the Rye. But, in another way, it feels insignificant because of Salinger's extreme reclusiveness and his refusal or failure to publish anything for years. In fact, the only real mentions of Salinger in the media over the last decade or so have centered on Joyce Maynard's memoir about her underage affair with him. In this light, it is almost as though Salinger were already gone; he was already more myth than man. That said, it remains sad to lose any great figure, any contributor to the cultural imagination, and for that reason, I am dedicating today's blog post to Salinger.

"domestic" photography

2010-01-19T09:44:00.000-08:00

"ophelia" by gregory crewdson via phantasmafile

"wicker swing" by julia blackmon via catherine edelman gallery

I am captivated by these not-quite-normal images of domestic space. Crewdson's work taps into the dark, eerie aspects of suburban America; his photos remind me of Todd Haynes' amazing film Safe in which a woman (played by the inimitable Julianne Moore) becomes obsessed with germs and toxins and seeks refuge from her own home.

Julie Blackmon's work is more cheerful, as she tends to feature children in posh, upper-class surroundings, and yet, there is a streak of irony in her photographs (see the "swing" above). These artists seems to be saying something about the underside of contemporary home life, about how the most safe, normal spaces can be suffocating, out of control, or just plain creepy. I would also put Todd Hido's work in this category and some of Sally Mann's work.

JAP book recommendation

2010-01-16T09:14:00.000-08:00

Elisa Albert's The Book of Dahlia (2008) is essential reading for all JAPS, queer and otherwise. I picked it up last summer as beach reading, but I quickly realized it was a bit heavier and more literary than expected. The novel begins when 29-year-old Dahlia Finger, a spoiled underachiever, is diagnosed with cancer, and the resulting chapters are somehow hilarious and heartbreaking at once. I won't give too much away except to say that this snarky, cynical protagonist sneaks into your heart...

disney's first jewish-american princess

2010-01-16T09:11:00.001-08:00

this is a must-watch.

hudson!

2010-01-15T15:08:00.000-08:00

we're off to hudson (our favorite getaway) for dinner! have a great weekend, everyone!

sigh...

2010-01-15T11:37:00.000-08:00

via the sartorialist

I am sitting in my office and I'm actually getting more done than I have in weeks of sitting at home. While I wish I were walking a fluffy, golden dog on a beach promenade (see above), the campus is quiet, as the students are still on vacation, and the atmosphere is peaceful and cerebral. I am reading James Wood's How Fiction Works in preparation for teaching my Intro to Fiction course, and I like this line: "Novelists should thank Flaubert the way poets thank spring: it all begins again with him.” Well said.

quote of the day

2010-01-14T11:41:00.000-08:00

“There is a vitality, a life-force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action. And because there is only one you in all of time this expression is unique and if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open whether you choose to take an art class, keep a journal, record your dreams, dance your story or live each day from your creative source. Above all else, keep the channel open.” -Martha Graham

spring things

2010-01-14T11:06:00.000-08:00

is it wrong that i am already starting to daydream about spring purchases? these new nail polish colors from chanel are definitely on my list. i think the beige one will be perfect with white sundresses on my honeymoon...

obsessed with this space

2010-01-14T08:53:00.000-08:00

via you are my fave

wedding dress?!?

2010-01-13T11:58:00.000-08:00

i may have just stumbled across THE wedding dress! What do you think?

(the designer is caroline seikaly)

yellow roses

2010-01-13T09:53:00.000-08:00

JB bought me these gorgeous blooms for no reason (this is the why we're getting married!) nothing like yellow roses to cheer up the drab winter landscape.

here is an inspiring quote i came across recently:

"Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Until one is committed there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and endless plans. That the moment one definitely commits oneself then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never have otherwise occurred. A whole stream of events issue from the decision, raising in one?s favour all manner of unforeseen incidents, and meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now." -Goethe

The Snow Man

2010-01-13T07:44:00.000-08:00

One must have a mind of winter
To regard the frost and the boughs
Of the pine-trees crusted with snow;

And have been cold a long time
To behold the junipers shagged with ice,
The spruces rough in the distant glitter

Of the January sun; and not to think
Of any misery in the sound of the wind,
In the sound of a few leaves,

Which is the sound of the land
Full of the same wind
That is blowing in the same bare place

For the listener, who listens in the snow,
And, nothing himself, beholds
Nothing that is not there and the nothing that is.

--Wallace Stevens

january

2010-01-12T11:12:00.000-08:00

this is a bleak time of year. the holidays are over, and the magical first snowfalls are long since over as well. all i can see for months are long, cold days of bundling up and frostbite and dry skin. i am going to try to develop a list of things to savor about this time of year. feel free to send a comment, if you are so inclined.

1. soup. i love soup, especially soup with greens (kale, mmmm) and chickpeas. and perhaps some parmesean bread on the side.

2. sweaters. they are great.

3. the days are strangely getting longer, though this seems counter-intuitive.

4. the oscars are coming up. i *love* the oscars.

5. i am done with skiing since i torn my ACL a few years ago, but i do like snow shoes and ice skates and the various other types of equipment that allow me to play in the snow and ice.

6. mittens. scarves. cozy.

7. spring break :)

8. chai tea lattes.

9. braving the cold to walk to town and returning with rosy cheeks (a bit of a stretch, i realize)

10. hot toddies

okay, that list is not as impressive or substantial as it could be, so i will be updating it as the wondrous aspects of arctic weather occur to me.

in the meantime, i am going to try to go for a jog. outside. brrrrr.

ps. the new issue of new york magazine includes this list!

facebook "friends"

2010-01-11T09:14:00.000-08:00

Ours is a culture that privileges old friends. People take pride in maintaining friendships with their pre-school peers, and at camp, I remember singing, “make new friends, but keep the old; one is silver, the other gold.” But lately I found myself questioning this assumption. Why are old friends better?

As I see it, friends are largely contextual. You have work friends, with whom you spend countless hours collaborating on projects and gossiping during lunch break. They are the people with whom you spend the bulk of your time. However, when you inevitably leave the job (or the school or the town) that fosters these affiliations, there is an expectation that the friendship can and should be sustained.

It is not uncommon, for instance, to hear people remark on their inability to keep in touch as a personal failing. However, the fact of the matter is that it would be impossible to remain intimate with, even in touch with, all of the friends one acquires throughout her or his life.

This is where Facebook comes in. What a miracle that we can now remain one-click away from all of those former colleagues and elementary school friends. Even our elementary school teachers. And our old babysitters. Suddenly, every sphere and phase of your life is represented in your list of “friends,” and this representativeness produces a sense of completeness and control. Everyone is accounted for, and in many cases, you can simply click on a profile to see what your best friend from tenth grade ate for breakfast.

Much has been written recently about the effect of Facebook on social norms and on modern psychology. Peggy Orenstein’s smart piece in the New York Times Magazine about the disturbing disappearance of loneliness as phenomenon comes to mind. For me, though, Facebook’s most insidious accomplishment is its insistence on old friends. The sidebars that urge me to contact some acquaintance of lore reminds me of how I felt when I would come home from college—looking forward to sleeping and watching movies—only to encounter my mother’s injunction, “Call your old friends. Don’t you want to see what so-and-so is up to?” The fact of the matter was that I had no interest; it would have been an awkward, forced evening with So-and-So, with whom I had ever less in common, and a night with Reality Bites in my pajamas was far more appealing.

Facebook’s appropriation of my mother’s voice, its cloying reminders and perky suggestions (“reconnect with Susie Q!”), signify a new kind of disciplinary power. As more and more people over the age of 30 begin to use Facebook, it has become a technologized guilt trip and a powerful reminder to remain consistent with former identities and faithful to one’s past.

I am reminded of French philosopher Michel Foucault’s ideas about modern power. Foucault is perhaps best known for his theory of the panopticon, based on Jeremy Bentham’s prison system, in which a tower at the center of a prison leads prisoners to believe that they are constantly being watched, and consequently, they begin to police themselves, regardless of whether any authority figure is actually in the tower. Foucault explained it as a “marvelous machine, which whatever use one may wish to put it to, produces homogeneous effects of power.”

Perhaps it seems far-fetched to think about Facebook as producing such panoptic effects, but there is a way in which its emphasis on prior selves and identities induces a kind of self-policing. The faces of one’s past, displayed in an imposing list, seem to be watching as you move through your life, demanding some degree of faithfulness.

But what do we owe to our old friends, to our past selves? Facebook banks on and delivers an illusion of that some kind of consistency connects the compartmentalized facets of its users’ lives. It foregrounds the continued relevance of the past, but most of our lives are inconsistent, disjointed, wonderfully broken and not reducible to “networks” or straight lines. Acquaintances and friendships and colleagues ebb and flow in and out of our lives.

There is a kind of irony about the way technology has ultimately brought us back to our grade school friends and camp counselors. Rather than opening up the world and taking outside of the local and away from our pasts, Facebook and similar social networking sites are producing a trail that leads right back to our childhood homes. I don’t mean to suggest that I haven’t enjoyed reconnecting with old friends. I have found some of the “catching up” moving and hilarious, but what I enjoy most about Facebook is the easy and playful contact it facilitates with my existing friends.

As I make up the guestlist for my upcoming (and very small) wedding, I realize that the majority of people I am absolutely committed to inviting would qualify as relatively “new” friends, and yet, they know me the best, and they know my partner. They are the people with whom I spend my time and who I can count on to understand my day-to-day concerns. Though they don’t remember what I looked like in braces, their companionship after a long week at work is pure gold.

resolutions

2010-01-11T09:03:00.001-08:00

i am not generally fond of resolutions because i think, in the long run, they just make you feel bad, but last year, i gave up Diet Coke. i had a three-can (minimum)-a-day habit, and i successfully replaced the DC with lime-flavored seltzer. it was not as hard as i expected; i actually only truly missed the signature, nutrasweet taste in movie theaters while eating twizzlers or popcorn. so, given the success of last year's resolving, i decided to make a few more substantial promises to myself for this upcoming year. here they are:

in addition to being more diligent about blogging, i have resolved to stop using the word "like" so excessively in conversation. this word inflects my speech with the cadences of a valley girl (rather than those of an english professor!), and it makes me sound non-committal, unsure, and juvenile. i am on a mission to remove it from my lexicon. secondly, i have decided to be kinder-- less catty, and less judgmental. i think the reflex to say something rude or curt is just that, a reflex, and it can be unlearned just as it was, at some point (high school?), learned.did you make resolutions?

2010, the winter, the wedding...

2010-01-11T08:26:00.000-08:00

so my dear readers, happy new year! happy new decade! it has been ages since i updated you on the status on my impending nuptials or on any of the facets of my varied and fascinating life. as you know, i teach english at a small college in the northeast, and as you know, it is january. this means two things- i am on break, and i am very, very cold. i am also preparing for the upcoming semester during which i will be teaching a "new prep," which means i am trying to structure a syllabus and design assignments. this is sometimes fun and sometimes boring and arduous. i have decided to teach madame bovary, a book that is dear to me, although not a book i have ever taught or written anything about. therefore, slightly daunting. it is also a book about the perils of marriage, for those of us that are idealistic, dreamy, naive, and prone to wanderlust :)

speaking of marriage, there have been many developments during my long hiatus from blogging. first and foremost, we have chosen an officiant whom i adore (long story on that for another blog post), and we've also put deposits down on tents, favors, photographers, and flowers. i have (still!) no idea what i will wear. it could be long or short, white or yellow or purple, bridal or beachy. send ideas!

ptown planning

2009-08-09T05:57:00.001-07:00

So we spent last week in Provincetown, where we may many decisions related to next summer's nuptials and also frolicked on very beautiful (and rocky) beaches and ate two ice creams cones per day.

We also toured the wedding venue and felt happily reassured with our choice. We realized that 60 people is the absolute upper limit of guests we can invite, so this is going to be intimate. In fact, we have cut all extended family-- c'est domage!

Finally, we tasted some of the menu we will be offering to our select guests. I *loved* the lobster corn chowder.

dream present

2009-07-03T07:32:00.000-07:00

I have to admit, all I really want as a wedding gift is a blanket from Swan's Island Blankets, preferably in gray and yellow. I don't cook, and I don't really need (read: covet) anything practical. But this blanket.... Man, it is beautiful.

Check out the website for more colors and styles: http://swansislandblankets.com/

various

2009-07-03T07:25:00.000-07:00

So I forgot to tell you, readers, that the meeting with the prospective officiant last week was disastrous. First of all, he referred to the wedding ritual as a "piece of theater," which is certainly not the tone JB and I are looking to strike. We explicitly told him we wanted something minimal (no candles, no humor, no wine), but he refused to assimilate these facts into his mind. He repeatedly made reference to Judaism, though he billed himself as non-religious, and he generally gave us the creeps. So... we are still looking for the person who will marry us. More and more, we are contemplating just getting hitched at city hall and cutting out the spirituality altogether.

In more pleasant news, we have a BEST MAN! JB's dearest friend (and one of mine) has accepted the honor-- her name, for our purposes, is Doctor of Love, and she will be made privy to all the planning details and drama! Yay!

save the dates!

2009-07-02T15:47:00.000-07:00

Our save-the-dates are finally done, and we *love* them. this image, an original woodcut from Moby Dick, was our inspiration. It was really all JB's idea. The wonderful thing is that they simultaneously capture our love of literature, the Provincetown setting, and a romantic timelessness. i will try to post some additional images as I receive them.

officiants...

2009-06-25T06:56:00.001-07:00

Today we are off to meet with our first prospective officiant. He identifies as a "secular humanist," though he is culturally Jewish, which seems like a nice mix for us. JB was raised as a Christian, and I am Jewish (duh), and we don't really want a religious ceremony. However, it is important to me that the ceremony is Jewish-inflected, although I am not sure what that means. Perhaps it just means that I want someone with a "rabbinical voice" to officiate because 14 years of Sunday School and Shabbat services ingrained in me the belief that such a voice held tremendous gravity and was potentially coming directly from G-d. Or maybe it is because I think it will please my late grandfather. Or maybe it is because I myself am Jewish and care about Judaism, although I don't want my faith to overshadow/dominate/dictate the wedding. In any case, I will let you know how today's little session goes. We have another appointment next week with an actual rabbi, but I suspect that might be a bit much for us. We just want something deeply serious (no jokes) and very, very succinct (less than fifteen minutes).

the engagement ring

2009-06-22T13:34:00.000-07:00

i love how clean and modern and architectural it is.

because we are both women, a few people have asked whether i bought her a ring as well. no, i didn't - because she didn't want one. that's not really her thing, although she is eager to wear her wedding band.

Brenda Patimkin: JAP archetype

2009-06-20T08:37:00.000-07:00

Philip Roth's first novella, Goodbye Columbus, features perhaps the most quintessential JAP in all of literary history. Brenda Patimkin, a Radcliffe co-ed, is spending the summer at her parents' suburban 1970s-McMansion and enjoying her privileged existence of tennis matches and country club swimming pools when Neil Klugman walks into her life from his humble Newark origins and shakes it all up. For those of you who have not had the pleasure of reading this classic, I won't spoil the ending. Needless to say, Brenda is far from queer but she perfectly exemplifies the JAP in her narcissism, materialism, and sexual magnetism (especially as played by Ali MacGraw in the film version).

our wedding venue.

2009-06-20T08:08:00.000-07:00

this is where we will be tying the knot in officially 364 days. i don't know how i will be able to wait that long...

the word "partner"

2009-06-18T18:36:00.001-07:00

a rant about said term is available online.

http://blogs.forward.com/the-sisterhood/

do any of my many readers have thoughts on this?

funny NPR piece on least appropriate wedding tunes

2009-06-11T15:20:00.000-07:00

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=105250727&sc=emaf

some further details on the ol' gay wedding and other miscellany

2009-06-11T15:05:00.000-07:00

So we officially "became engaged" on our recent trip abroad (at dinner on a romantic, rooftop terrace in marrakech), and i can't take my eyes off the sparkler on my left hand. my partner (let's called her JB) picked out with some instructions (i wanted yellow gold, no prongs, no baguettes-- in other words, clean and modern), and she hit it out of the park. i love it.

(yes, faithful readers, i already knew we were getting married, but this was the formal transition to that state...)

my family's reaction has been better than expected. in fact, my mother has been surprisingly receptive to the whole idea of my gay nuptials -- largely, i think, because like any jewish mother, she wants grandkids. my father, in his aloof, man-of-few-words-way, has been cool. and my little brother, perhaps the most conservative member of the family, sent a bouquet of sunflowers. so , overall, nothing to complain about... sure, it's a little awk- i won't lie. there is not the ecstatic (borderline scary) energy of oh-my-god-you're-engaged that undoubtedly would have overwhelmed me from all corners if i had stuck with the hetero-boring jewish doctor. and to be honest, i'm glad. the wedding feels very much ours, which is of course the way it should feel...

some additional details: the wedding will be next summer in provincetown, the mecca of gay new englanders for generations, and we're keeping it small (probably sixty of our nearest and dearest).

in other news (because there is more to me than the wedding, i hope... i think...), i am gearing up to teach full-time as a professor for the first time. this september, i'll be teaching three courses, one of which is on "women writers," and i have narrowed that topic down to "american women writers." i'm still finalizing the syllabus, but so far, it is shaping up to include the heavy-hitters (edith wharton, toni morrison) and some personal, if lesser-known, faves (Carson mccullers, anzia yerzierska). stay tuned.

my little, queer, not-so-jewish wedding...

2009-04-26T17:46:00.000-07:00

so i mentioned in my first post, i am getting married to my girlfriend next summer. we have been together for more than three years, and we have known from the beginning that we wanted to be together forever. we just didn't know if we wanted to do the whole gay marriage thing- we didn't know how we felt about it politically; we didn't know if the spectacle of the wedding suited us; we didn't (and still) don't love the idea of our families commingling...

and yet, we have decided to do it and we have, in fact, become extremely excited about it. in jest, she started referring to me as bridezilla a few weeks ago, but the irony has been lost.

as you may have surmised from the blog title, i am rather feminine- i plan to wear a gorgeous white vera wang, and jewelry (emerald amethyst), and perhaps carry a bouquet. my girlfriend is less feminine, and by less feminine, i mean that she is a butch: a short-haired, boyish, adorable, huck finnish butch, and she will be wearing a suit. we have not found or purchased our attire yet, but the search is on, so stay tuned. if i develop some technological skills, i may even consider posting some photos.

interesting post on femme identity

2009-04-21T09:30:00.000-07:00

here is a link to a recent piece about femme identity. i will write my own post on this topic later today...

http://community.feministing.com/2009/04/the-truth-about-femmesor-we-fu.html

watch this trailer

2009-04-20T19:05:00.000-07:00

itty bitty titty committee

required reading for queerJAPs

2009-04-20T18:27:00.000-07:00

The Sexually Fluid Person's Guide to a Seamlessly Uneventful Coming Out by Amy York Rubin

notable queerJAPS

2009-04-20T18:00:00.000-07:00

there are other queerJAPS lurking in popular culture. sometimes they are hard to spot, but once you start looking, you will quickly identity them as a particular subspecies of the capital L lesbian.

for example, one of my favorites is ariel levy, a staff writer for the New Yorker and also the author of an awesome book called, Female Chauvinist Pigs.

i especially love this piece she wrote for New York magazine about her wedding.

first post

2009-04-20T17:45:00.000-07:00

this is my virgin blog post. i am a queer jap. that means i am a girl/woman/female who does not identify as straight. if anything, i see myself as a lesbian. the love of my life (who i will be marrying next year!) is another woman. i was raised jewish, but i am not very religious. in fact, the most jewish thing about me is probably the fact that i do identify as a JAP (jewish american princess). this means that i am a bit spoiled (but self-consciously so) and that i enjoy being feminine. i'm not really the stereotypical JAP that you might see roaming park avenue in a prada backpack or driving a porsche boxster (not that there's anything wrong with that...), though i adore fashion. being queer makes being feminine more fun, more interesting, and less slavish.